Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize