...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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