Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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