Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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