i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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