Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
