I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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