Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Randomize
