it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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