I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
