school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just forgot I was standing up.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
