Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
pray to the hookup gods
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
