I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
