If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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