Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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