theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Randomize
