K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
