doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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