So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You can't just leave with hair like that
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The power of my boobs compel you
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