cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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