He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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