it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
