yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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