Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
is wine microwaveable?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
