i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
