He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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