I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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