with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
