How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
