she woke up with a sticky ear
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
