We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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