So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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