oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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