i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
she pinky promised me she was 18
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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