You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
