We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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