ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
