My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
