he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Randomize
