We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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