Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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