just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
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I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
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Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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