she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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