well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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