Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
