yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
