I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
