too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
