Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
