Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
