Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
