that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
