So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
