Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
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Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
