my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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