I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
