So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
