Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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