We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
