Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
