yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
