Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
