____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
