he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
