After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
