Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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