I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
